ICU – “I See You” Podcast
What About Those Who Love and Help Care for Vestibular Patients?
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Living with and supporting someone with a chronic illness can be challenging. We want to give a big shout-out to all the spouses, parents, friends, and other “care partners” out there who selflessly adapt their lives around the restrictions imposed by their loved one’s vestibular illness. Aborted family events, staying home instead of going out for dinner and a movie, and lots of medical appointments are just some of the complications you might face. On top of that, there is the worry – will your loved one ever get better? The guilt – could you be doing more to reduce your loved one’s burden? And, let’s face it, the exhaustion – when can you take time to care for yourself? Care partners often spend so much time and energy focused on their loved one’s needs that they frequently sacrifice their own. In this episode of the ICU – “I See You” podcast, we’d like to shine the light on these unsung heroes and offer them a moment to reflect on what self-care might look like for them.
About the Guests:
Katie Willard Virant is a psychotherapist living in St. Louis. She sees clients in therapy and writes for Psychology Today about chronic illness. She is a graduate of the Brown School of Social Work at Washington University in St. Louis and of the St. Louis Psychoanalytic Institute’s Advanced Psychodynamic Psychotherapy program. She works with adults, adolescents and children on a variety of issues, including loss and grief, life transitions, and living with chronic illness. Christina Mullins:
Christina has been married for seven years and is a mother to two children, ages 7 and 5. She enjoys hiking, skiing, traveling, and cherishing moments of fun with her kids. Four years ago, her husband was diagnosed with Ménière’s disease, and since then, he has also been diagnosed with Ankylosing Spondylitis, vestibular migraines, and Persistent Postural-Perceptual Dizziness (PPPD). Despite these challenges, Christina remains committed to her family and her passion for helping others. Professionally, she is a licensed clinical social worker in a middle school setting, where she dedicates her career to supporting students and their well-being. Additionally, she has started a blog called Sunshine Parenting in Chronic Weather, where she shares her experiences and insights on being a spouse and parent while navigating the complexities of chronic illness.
Hosts:
Cynthia Ryan, Executive Director of the Vestibular Disorders Association (VeDA)
Kimberly Warner, Founder and Director of Unfixed Media
Summary
The ICU podcast recently explored the often-overlooked experience of care partners supporting loved ones with vestibular disorders. Hosts Kimberly Warner and Cynthia Ryan welcomed two guests who shed light on the complex emotional landscape of chronic illness: Katie Willard Virant, a psychotherapist, and Christine Mullin, a care partner to a husband with multiple chronic conditions.
Christine shared her family’s challenging journey, which began four years ago when her husband experienced his first vertigo episode. What started as a seemingly simple medical issue evolved into a complex diagnosis involving Meniere’s disease, vestibular migraines, and other chronic conditions. Her story illuminated the unpredictable nature of chronic illness – the constant hope, repeated disappointments, and the profound impact on family life. The conversation delved deep into the emotional toll of being a care partner. Christine described how the illness transformed their lives completely. Once an active family that enjoyed skiing and hiking, they now navigate a world of limited diet, constant medical appointments, and uncertainty. Her husband is now on disability, struggling with social connections and daily functioning.
Psychotherapist Katie Willard Virant, who herself lives with a chronic illness, brought professional insight into the experience. She emphasized the importance of recognizing the continuous grief that accompanies chronic illness – a mourning for what was lost, and uncertainty about the future. She highlighted that chronic illness affects not just the patient but entire families, creating a complex web of emotional challenges. A key theme emerged about the importance of communication and mutual support.
Christine shared how she and her husband have learned to support each other, with him encouraging her to express her struggles and emotions. Katie noted that the most successful partnerships approach chronic illness as a shared challenge, finding ways to meet each other’s needs while working as a team. Self-care emerged as a crucial topic. Christine found solace in her work as a school social worker and rediscovered photography as a creative outlet. She has also embraced mindfulness – a practice she once dismissed but now sees as essential for her well-being. Katie stressed the importance of care partners finding ways to “get fed,” whether through hobbies, therapy, or moments of personal time. The podcast also addressed the isolation that many care partners experience.
Christine highlighted the difficulty of finding understanding from friends and family who struggle to comprehend the ongoing nature of chronic illness. To combat this, she’s become an advocate, starting a blog and working to create community support through VeDA’s Facebook group for care partners. Both guests emphasized the need to release guilt, a common burden for care partners who often feel they should be doing more or feel selfish for taking time for themselves. Katie encouraged care partners to listen when their loved ones urge them to take breaks and to let go of societal expectations of being “everything to everyone.”
The conversation concluded with a powerful message of hope and resilience. While chronic illness brings immense challenges, it also offers opportunities for deeper communication, mutual support, and personal growth. The key is acknowledging the difficulty, seeking support, and finding moments of grace within the struggle. For care partners feeling isolated, the podcast offered a reminder: You are not alone. Your experiences are valid, your struggles are real, and there are communities ready to support you.
A full transcript is available on YouTube (scroll below the description and click “Show Transcript”).
Additional Resources:
- Family Support Network: Articles for vestibular care partners to help them understand what their loved one is going through.
- Vestibular Voices of Care: Facebook Support Group for vestibular care partners.
