This article originally appeared in the Summer 2024 issue of On The Level.
Scientists have suggested that by activating the reward center of the brain, gratitude exchange alters the way we see the world and ourselves. (MR Chowdhury)
Despite the research and widely held wisdom supporting the benefits of having a gratitude practice, I have struggled to incorporate this activity into my growing list of coping skills, treatment options, and daily exercises. It doesn’t come naturally. In a new effort I started listing a few “Thankful Moments”. It’s harder than it sounds, but is becoming easier as I go along. Why the effort?
WHY Practice Gratitude
People who express and feel gratitude have a higher volume of gray matter in the right inferior temporal gyrus. (Zahn et al., 2014)
There is growing evidence that positive self-talk, and specifically gratefulness, changes your brain and soothes your nervous system. Genuine self-talk that is. I guess the brain knows the difference between insincere sweetness and real acknowledgement of life’s good moments. Studies show that recognizing the receipt of happiness from another person, yourself, a higher power, a pet, or nature can lead to an overall sense of well-being. The practice reduces stress and pain, improves sleep, increases social relationships, diminishes depressive feelings, increases energy, and enhances optimism. The action of expressing thankfulness can even regulate chemicals in our brains like dopamine and cortisol.
It’s hard to ignore those benefits, and is enticing enough to try embracing such a practice. This is not to say you won’t, or shouldn’t, feel and accept your dark times and struggles. Life is full of both, and there is room for both. But opening the door to being grateful can lessen the impact of our negative experiences and thoughts. The few minutes each day or every so often that this requires certainly is manageable.
WHAT Is A Gratitude Practice
Your gratitude list is a bridge across those troubled waters to a resting place on the other side. (Helen Russel – TinyBuddha.com)
A gratitude practice, at its most basic, is taking time, on a regular basis, to acknowledge something or someone that brings you happiness, makes you smile, or touches your heart. It could also mean simply being aware of things that enhance your life or wellbeing, such as giving thanks before eating a meal. The word “practice” reminds us that it’s an ongoing process with no right or wrong path, and that we will learn as we go. It is saying “thank you” and meaning it.
A gratitude practice is honest. Try not to invent things or relationships you wish you had, and don’t mention things you think you should be grateful for. It is not competitive. This is only for you, not to impress others. No one else will see your journal. Being honest with yourself will make the practice genuine.
A gratitude practice does not dismiss your struggles. It adds something to the effort to improve life. In the beginning, especially if you are going through a rough period, it may be hard. There are days when it’s hard to imagine anything positive. Baby steps.
HOW to Practice Gratitude
We affirm the good things we’ve received and we acknowledge the role other people play in providing our lives with goodness. (Robert Emmons)
As with all self-care, there is no one right way. Each person will find a method that fits and works for them. Starting a gratitude practice can be as simple as noticing each time you say “thank you”. Register the sentiment and think about why you expressed thanks. Notice who you thanked and how you felt.
As you progress you will begin to identify more little moments that are gifts. Once you get the idea, it is helpful to begin writing down these observations. Some people will enjoy writing out in paragraph form the positive parts of their day. Others will find that just bulleting one to three items each time will be enough. You can also write on slips of paper and put them in a jar to review later, when you are having a difficult time finding anything positive to think about. It’s also lovely to send a thank you note to someone, even yourself, when feeling grateful.
- While it is a step forward to just think about gratitude each day, there seems to be some consensus that the benefits are more substantial if you document your gratitude in writing, type or even illustrations. Some tips are:
- Give details – Instead of writing, “My dinner was delicious,” write, “The lentil soup I made tasted good and warmed my body.”
- Shift your words – Using more positive words and eliminating the negative ones can also shift your mindset. Instead of saying “I finally forced myself to eat a good meal,” try “I made myself a healthy meal.”
- Pick a certain place where you go to journal. Whether it’s a comfortable chair, a park bench, your front porch, or in bed before sleep, making a ritual for this activity makes it important.
- Allow your personality to show. This is not meant to be a stuffy, boring activity. Have fun with it, show humor, and be honest. If someone did something nice for you, say that. No need to say it was “fabulous” or “spectacular”.
- Choose words that you like. If “gratitude” doesn’t fit, use “thankfulness” or “appreciation”. Rather than simply saying “I feel happiness or joy”, find words that express where that happiness or joy came from, and how you received that moment.
- On hard days you may simply be grateful that you survived another day and can now rest. That’s perfect. Write it down. Or write, “I tried my best today. I’ll be back tomorrow.”
WHEN to Practice Gratitude
Just as you do with any new lifestyle change, it’s important to set a regular schedule for writing in your journal. This does not need to be everyday. It might actually be more powerful to write just a couple of times a week. You can write first thing in the morning or last thing at night. Maybe lunch time is the best. There is no right or wrong time of day. This practice should not create new stress. Simply try to form a habit by sticking to the same routine.
One thing I’ve learned these past weeks trying to record Moments of Thankfulness is that the practice doesn’t only involve thinking of those bright spots during the few minutes you dedicate to writing them down. Gradually I caught myself noticing when I experienced a positive feeling, or felt a moment of pleasure, or laughed, or did a wobbly little dance, throughout the day or week. Becoming aware of these times as they happen will give your journaling direction and material. It can also strengthen your mindfulness practice (living in the moment), which is another great coping strategy (see VeDA’s article on mindfulness meditation).
Finally
Keep in mind, being grateful and identifying aspects of your day that were positive does not mean that the challenging, frustrating, negative pieces of your life aren’t there also. You can be both grateful and struggling. You can feel angry and laugh all in the same day. You can be thankful for the friendly neighbor who stopped to chat today, and also completely frustrated by your vestibular symptoms. But for a few minutes now and then, shifting your focus from the challenges of life to the bright moments you are given can make a big difference in your overall well being. Thank you for listening 🙂.
Enjoy the little things. For one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” (Robert Brault)
Article by Karen R Mizrach
Resources:
- https://vestibular.org/blog/gratitude-journals/
- https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/gratitude_journal
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCgugNQuAlM
- https://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-start-a-gratitude-practice-to-change-your-life/
- https://www.verywellmind.com/writing-in-a-gratitude-journal-for-stress-relief-3144887
- https://www.happierhuman.com/benefits-of-gratitude/
- https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/pdfs/GratitudePDFs/6Emmons-BlessingsBurdens.pdf
