Hi everyone,
I’ve been dealing with vestibular issues since I was about 9, and I’m 26 now. I made a song about what it feels like to live with it. I’ve posted it in other groups, and people connected with it. I hope it connects with you, too.
Lyrics
I wake up dizzy, ceiling bends. Another day I don’t defend
The ground feels fake beneath my feet. I count the cracks just to stay me
Everyone says, “You look okay”. I nod like I don’t feel the sway
If this is strength, then why’s it hurt to stand up straight in my own skin
I miss the way I used to move before my balance fell through. I don’t need fixing I need truth
I’m still standing even when I’m spinning. Holding on to walls like they’re the only thing that’s listening
You don’t see it, but I fight it every day. Living in a body that won’t stay the same
Fluorescent lights and crowded rooms make my heartbeat shake the floor
I cancel plans, they call it weak, I call it getting through the door
Doctors’ words, don’t land on me, just echoes in a hollow space
If patients heal this mess I’m in, I’d be gone without a trace
I swear I try, I swear I do, but willpower can’t glue the room
I’m still standing even when I’m spinning. Smile through the static so they don’t hear the panic
You don’t see it, but I fight it every day. I’m not broken, I’m just wired this way
If I disappear, I’m not giving up
I’m just trying to keep myself upright enough
I’m still standing even when I’m spinning. This isn’t weakness, it’s survival, I’m living
You don’t see it, but I’m still here. Fighting a war that never stays clear
Still breathing, still here. Even when the room won’t stay clear.